The Throw Away
by Idamonae
Summary: Harry always leaves Draco behind while he goes away on his missions, determined to protect him from Voldemort. This time, Draco’s well being is jeopardized at home, forcing Harry to realize that safety isn’t always a guarantee. M for Sexual Content


Title: The Throw Away

Genre: Angst/Romance

Pairing: HP/DM

Rating: M

Summary: Harry always leaves Draco behind while he goes away on his missions, determined to protect him from Voldemort. This time, Draco's well being is jeopardized at home, forcing Harry to realize that safety isn't always a guarantee.

Warnings: HBP spoilers, Attempted Rape

Disclaimer: _I don't own a thing. It's all the property of J.K Rowling, and this story is being written for entertainment purposes only. Not a dime is being made._

xxxx

The hour didn't matter, as far as Harry was concerned. It was bloody late, that was for certain, and he was exhausted. He was fairly sure it had been somewhere in the neighborhood of four days since he'd last gotten any sleep, and the adrenaline rush that had enabled him to escape Voldemort's hidden domain, mostly unscathed, was finally beginning to wear off. Simply put: he was knackered.

But he was also feeling accomplished. Another one of the Horcruxes had been destroyed, and that left only two before he could finally rid the Earth of the vile Dark Lord that had completely ruined not only his life, but the lives of everyone he loved.

He sighed as he finally managed to weave his way through the labyrinth of Hogwarts castle to the dormitory space blocked off for members of the Order of the Phoenix. Hogwarts had provided sanctuary for centuries for the children of the wizarding world, and it was now the stronghold for the forces of the light. Albus Dumbledore's last gift to his order had been to weave some extraordinarily powerful wards around the castle that would prevent any Death Eater attacks from happening again.

Harry winced in remembrance of the fateful day his mentor had lost his life. The day he'd had to watch Severus Snape blast the elderly wizard with a powerful AK curse that had severed any and all respect Harry might have had for his former potions instructor. That had been two and a half years ago, and things had certainly changed since then. Yawning, Harry pushed upon the door that led into the Order's common room. The room was far from deserted, as the night shift had taken up their duties, and he smiled when Ron Weasley jumped up to greet him. "Blimey Harry, we were expecting you two days ago!"

Harry shook his head. "I know, I know. Unfortunately, I ran into Lucius Malfoy and you can just imagine how happy he was to see me." Harry sighed and dumped what was left of his worn pack on the sofa. "I'm beat."

Ron nodded. Harry certainly did look like hell. "You destroyed it then, it's done?"

"Yes."

The redhead ran a hand through his scruffy hair in relief. "Well, you don't look too bad this time, but you should get some sleep. I'll set up a briefing for tomorrow right before the shift change so you'll have a few hours to get some rest. Sound good?"

Harry smiled weakly and rubbed at his eyes in exhaustion. "Sounds perfect, mate. Ask a house elf to send some food in later, will you?" His friend nodded. "Thanks Ron. I'll see you later." He wandered down the corridor towards his chambers, stepping gently so as not to wake anyone up. He whispered the password and slipped inside the darkened room, frowning when he felt a disturbance in his wards. They tingled over his flesh as though they didn't recognize him, but tapered off abruptly when he sent out a magical probe to determine what was wrong. "What the fuck?" He peered into the sitting room cautiously, but couldn't see anything. Everything felt okay. Shrugging, he quietly made his way to the small bath to clean up. One glance in the mirror told him to hurry up and sleep. The dark circles under his eyes were hardly attractive. He splashed some water on his face and arms, and cast a quick cleansing spell over the rest of his body. He was far too tired to shower, but he didn't want to crawl into bed smelly and covered in dirt either. A clean t-shirt and a fresh pair of shorts later, he was on his way to cotton-sheeted bliss. The bedroom was ridiculously warm, but Harry thought nothing of it. He'd probably have to sleep without a cover given his bed partner's tendencies to cocoon. With that thought it mind, he was pleasantly surprised when he slipped into bed on his usual side and found a decent amount of linen available for his use. He hit his pillow with a sigh of relief and then turned over to spoon against his lover, whom he hadn't held in his arms in several weeks. Draco Malfoy stirred, but didn't awake, and Harry drew his smaller lover's body closer against him, wrapping an arm protectively around the blonde. He kissed the back of Draco's head sleepily. "I love you." He whispered softly, and then surrendered to sleep. His last thought before he dropped off was that he couldn't wait to wake up to the fresh smell of Draco's hair.

xxxx

Harry blinked the sleep from his eyes and fought the urge to groan. It was still far too early, and there was no way he'd slept for more than four hours. The sun however, was filtering its hearty light through the window and right into Harry's sleep deprived face. He sighed and stretched lightly, smiling when the body in his arms moved back against him. His lover was still asleep, though a frown marred his usually angelic brow. Harry reached up and swept a few strands of Draco's hair back, revealing the tender flesh below his right ear that Harry loved to kiss.

Draco had returned to Hogwarts a mere week after running away with Snape. He'd had in his hands one of Voldemort's Horcruxes and had demanded that they grant him asylum should he hand it over. Mad Eye Moody had then spent three days interrogating the young Malfoy heir under veritaserum before he'd released Draco into the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix. Since then, Draco had proven to be an invaluable resource to the Order. He brewed potions, looked over maps, researched in the library alongside Hermione (with whom he'd formed a truce that bordered on friendship, though he'd never admit it), and played chess with Ron Weasley when there was nothing to do but wait and both men were grating the nerves of everyone else.

Most surprisingly though, he'd become quite close to Harry. At first, everyone had been suspicious of his motives, but when it became clear that Draco had more to lose risking a relationship with Harry than did the Boy Who Lived, everyone relaxed. Mercifully. It hadn't taken long after their first steps toward friendship before Draco had wound up in Harry's arms. It had taken even less time after that for him to wind up in Harry's bed.

As far as Harry was concerned, it was a good place for him. At least here, he was safe. His kissed his lover's neck gently, and grinned devilishly when he felt Draco's backside wriggle against his now rapidly growing cock. It had been far too long since he'd last made love to Draco, and this morning seemed as good a time as any to rectify that. "Morning baby" he mumbled into Draco's neck, content to simply lave kisses on the milky flesh all morning. He heard the small groan in response and smiled, shifting one of his hands to hold Draco's hip firmly. He applied more pressure and made to turn Draco onto his back when the blonde's eyes flew open and the smooth warm flesh beneath his hands was suddenly ripped away. Before Harry could blink, Draco was on the opposite side of the room, chest heaving, grey eyes screaming terror, his wand pointed at Harry's head. Harry sat up and looked at this new Draco with deep concern. Draco never pulled away from Harry's touch; he melted beneath Harry's hands and begged for more. What was going on? "Draco love? Are you okay?" Harry's brow furrowed in confusion and concern.

"Harry?" Draco asked weakly as he slid further away from the bed and closer to the cherry wood dresser behind him.

"Of course Angel, who else? What's happened here?" Harry suddenly recalled the tingling sensation last night as he'd passed into the chamber. The wards had been reset. His eyes darkened in suspicion. Had someone else been visiting this bed while he'd been away?

"Prove it's you!" Draco demanded, raising his chin and sneering with that dreadful, disdainful sneer that Harry hadn't seen since sixth year.

Harry raised an eyebrow and thought of how to accomplish such a request. Hating that his brain had a flare for the dramatic, he raised his hand and accio'd Draco's wand to him without batting an eye. The blonde's eyes widened for a half a second as though he were evaluating the wandless demonstration, and then Harry had himself a lap full of trembling Draco and suddenly nothing else was important anymore. "Sweetheart, what was this all about?" He ran his hands in soothing circles over Draco's back and willed his heart not to break as his lover began to sob softly into his t-shirt.

"Someone was here, Harry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry Harry. I thought it was you. It smelled like you. I thought it was you."

Harry froze. Someone had come into his bed and taken advantage of his absence. Someone i else /i had put their hands on his angel. "Oh, Merlin."

Draco squirmed away, biting his lip and staring down at the twisted bed sheets in shame. "I thought it was you, Harry. I'm sorry." His voice broke in a sob and Harry felt as though the knife that was running through his heart had twisted.

"Did he...?" He let the statement stand, hoping Draco would pick up on what he was trying to ask.

"No!" Draco shook his head and finally looked up to meet Harry's eyes with hard ones of his own. "He almost-"

"You don't know who it was?"

The blonde shook his head. "No, I just-I figured out it wasn't you."

Harry reached for Draco and was saddened when the blonde pulled further away. "How?"

Draco sniffed and got off the bed. He found a robe hanging of the back of a nearby chair and hastily put it on. "I don't want to talk about it."

Harry nodded. Eventually he'd wrestle an explanation out of his lover, but for the time being, he'd let it go. "Have you told anyone you've been attacked?"

Draco glared at him. "Oh yes, Potter, that's the first thing I did. I went running down into your little brigade of helpers screaming rape."

"You mean you didn't even see a nurse?" Harry gaped at his lover, suddenly drawn to the bruises Draco tried to hide on his wrists.

"Harry, I'm Draco Malfoy. No one is going to believe that I was attacked while tucked away safely in your chambers." A hint of red appeared on the blonde's cheeks. "Besides which, I – I asked for it."

Harry saw red. "That's bullshit and you know it! Some fucker came in here and dared to lay hands on you disguised as me! You did not _ask_ to be sexually assaulted Draco, don't ever say such a thing." Harry was vaguely aware that he was shouting, something he never did, but that didn't stop him. Draco's terrified voice did though.

"Harry, stop!" Draco drew away, placing a considerable distance between them. "I have no answers. I expected you home two days ago. I went to bed, and I awoke in the middle of the night when the bed dipped. I thought it was you, but it soon became clear that it wasn't. I managed to get the imposter to leave, and it's over. I don't want to discuss it anymore and I _swear_ if you ever come home late again without sending a message I'll kill you myself!" He broke into full sobs then, but rushed to the bath and slammed the door behind him before Harry could move to hold him.

xxxx

"I am going to kill the person who deigned to use my absence as an excuse to try and rape my husband." Harry was using Ron's "staff meeting" as a forum to expel his rage.

Hermione interrupted his tirade. "Technically Harry, you're not married, so he can't be your hus-"

"Do you really think I give a fuck about technicalities right now? He's mine. That is enough!" Harry couldn't stop shouting. A part of his inner self very pleased to have a specific direction to send his anger. "Did any of you even fucking notice? When was the last time he left those chambers? For Merlin's sake 'Mione, he's got bruises the size of apples on his wrists. If he can't be safe in the bed he shares with me, where can he be safe? I thought we went through all this two years ago!" Harry sat down. He was running out of steam, and the tears were now threatening to fall. Someone had hurt his angel, and now Draco was pulling away from him.

Because he hadn't been able to stop it.

"We've started an investigation Harry, but we could hardly know. Draco never comes out of hiding when you're away. He sulks the whole time, bitching and complaining about being cooped up here when he should be with you. We didn't realize anything was out of the ordinary."

That was partially his fault. Harry flat out refused to allow Draco to come along on the Horcruxe missions with him. It pissed the Slytherin off to no end, but when it came to the Order, and Draco's asylum, Harry's word was law. The blonde would stew whenever Harry was away, and Harry was well aware that Draco often chose to stew alone. Damnit. "I will find out who did this, and when I do, I'll kill the son of a bitch."

xxxx

"Draco, sweetheart, please come out and talk to me?" They were going on day four, and Harry hadn't seen much of his lover since waking the morning after he'd arrived home. Draco was exceptionally good at avoiding people when he wanted to, and each night when Harry had gone to bed, he'd slept alone. He was tired of it. He slept alone when he was away on missions, he didn't want to sleep in a cold bed at home too. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It could really use a cut. He rarely let it grow as long as it was now, with the fringe hanging into his eyes. It was too much work, and Harry preferred a short cropped style, especially given that they were at war. Harry sat up when he heard the bathroom door creak and smiled gently as Draco entered the room. The blood hovered in the doorway, worrying his lip and staring at Harry awkwardly. "Please talk to me baby."

"I don't know what to say, Harry." The blonde whispered, turning his head to stare into the space of the room.

"I don't know either. I miss you love."

"I miss you too, Harry." Draco choked and slipped across the room into Harry's arms. "I miss you always."

Harry rubbed his back gently and savored the moment. Anytime he got to hold Draco was a gift. "Stay with me tonight? I'll keep you safe."

Draco shuddered. "Promise?"

"Of course Draco. I love you so much. I would never knowingly let anything happen to you."

"I know Harry. I love you too, just – It just makes me so angry. I'm not some sodding little girl that needs protection. I can bloody well take care of myself, I _know_ I can." He paused, worrying his lip and squinting back tears. "I hate feeling so vulnerable, Harry. I hate knowing I'm helpless."

Harry lifted the blonde's chin to meet his eyes. "You're not helpless Draco. Your attacker took advantage of you in a specific situation where they knew you'd be vulnerable. It was not your fault, and there was certainly nothing you could have done to prevent it."

Draco nodded gently, shifting in Harry's embrace. "Can we just sleep tonight?"

Harry swallowed heavily. "Yes angel. Anything you want."

xxxx

In the end, it was Ginny Weasley's fault that Draco didn't feel comfortable enough with himself or his body to deal with intimacy for another month and a half. Even then, the only thing he could tolerate was the odd hand job and a tender caress. It broke Harry's heart every time he tried to make love to Draco, only to have the former Slytherin pull away.

The youngest Weasley had stumbled across the Order's stash of Polyjuice and had decided to have a bit of fun. She would likely have gotten away with it too, if she hadn't allowed her kink for rough, brutal sex to overpower her rational thought.

That's what had tipped Draco off.

His lover was dominating and demanding in bed, and sometimes Harry might even have been a bit rough with him, but never so much as to cut the skin to the point of scarring and bruise Draco's delicate wrists. That, and Ginny hadn't known that Harry liked to use endearments to refer to his angel as he loved him. While Draco always groaned about how sappy his lover was, he had in fact come to appreciate being Harry's sweetheart, baby, and angel all at once.

Ginny had called him _slut._

She had been tried and convicted using evidence gathered by her own brother, Ronald Weasley, and had been sentenced to time in the Order's newest prison establishment, pending a new trial as soon as the war came to an end. It had taken everything Ron, Hermione, Moody and Lupin had had to stop Harry Potter from ripping her to shreds.

She was locked away, and had been for weeks, but Draco still didn't feel safe. "I thought it was you," he whispered brokenly, for what seemed the millionth time while he rocked in Harry's arms. He still slept by Harry's side each night, and each night when he awoke to nightmares of his intimate assault, he was grateful that his mate was there to soothe him.

Then one night, he whispered something new, and Harry's heart shattered all over again. "I'm dirty, Harry. How could you possibly want me? I practically begged that bitch to take me….I –"

"You thought it was me," Harry growled, deep in his throat as he finally broke and turned Draco onto his back. He crawled atop his lover and lay down gently, resting the bulk of his weight on his forearms. "You thought it was me, taking you." He kissed Draco's forehead softly. "Claiming you." He left gentle wet kisses on Draco's eyelids and cheeks. Draco shuddered beneath him, moaning softly at Harry's words. "Will you let me take you now, Draco? Let me take back what is rightfully mine?"

The blonde hesitated for only a fraction of a moment, but his body was finally telling him it was interested, and he didn't want to deny the ache in his heart any longer. "Yes," Draco hissed, arching his back as Harry's hands traveled from his hips up his chest and back again, slipping under the soft cotton of his pajama shirt. He cried out when Harry nipped at his neck and suckled the small wound, wrapping his arms around his partner's shoulders to steady himself. "I think I need that Harry. I'm ready."

Harry backed off slowly and caught Draco's eyes with his own. "You're sure?"

Draco nodded, leaning back and unbuttoning his pajamas. "Please." Once the buttons were free, he shrugged off the loose garment and ran his own hands over his milky chest seductively. "Take me, Harry." Any further words were cut off by his lover's demanding mouth, hot and insistent against his own. It felt like a whole new experience, having gone so long without feeling it. What had he honestly been thinking, denying himself this?

"I love you so much. I want to show you, so badly." Harry whispered into his skin, sweeping his tongue over the smooth milky expanse. He was so painfully aroused already, but he was determined to make this moment last as long as possible, to make this experience the healing one that Draco so desperately needed….

xxxx

….Harry felt Draco fly apart beneath him and he struggled not to drop himself atop Draco as he rode out the exhaustion of their sex. He leaned heavily on his arms, drawing fresh air into his lungs and feeling the passion recede from his flesh to be replaced by the soothing contentment that he'd ached so long to feel again. He kissed Draco sloppily and wiped away the tears that had seeped out the corner of his lover's eyes. "Ok, baby?"

The former Slytherin nodded in contentment, smiling softly. Harry groaned when he slipped out of his lover's body, but Draco's surprisingly wicked nails in his biceps prevented him from pulling away. "Hold me," the blonde whispered, and Harry settled his weight atop him, leaning to the side and planting his hip firmly on the mattress.

Harry clumsily brushed Draco's sweaty hair away and smiled dopily at him. "You are incredible."

Draco laughed. "Of course I am you prat." He reached up to sweep a sable strand out of Harry's eyes. Harry had let his hair grow too long. "Thank you for taking care of me, Harry," he whispered, not surprised at the hoarseness of his own voice. "And you know…for everything else."

Harry kissed him again. "Think you'll sleep peaceful for once?"

Draco nodded sleepily. "I think you've worn me out."

Harry moved off of him and drew him against his chest, holding him protectively. "I could never wear you out, Draco Malfoy." He smiled and waited for the jibe he knew was coming, but Draco had already dropped into sleep, for once content and completely sated.

xxxx

Draco stood on the small balcony overlooking the lake, wrapped in nothing but a white cotton sheet. The cool fabric hung low around his lips and the excess length pooled around his feet, but he didn't care. He leaned against the stone railing and squinted out into the morning sunlight, a gentle frown marring his brow. He sighed when he felt Harry behind him, and turned around to greet his lover. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Harry ventured, stepped forward to hug Draco warmly. "Are you feeling better?"

The blonde smiled. "Much, thank you."

Harry grinned mischievously and kissed his brow. "Oh, you're _very_ welcome."

Draco blushed and turned around to look back out at the water. He shifted when Harry moved behind him and smiled when his lover rested his chin on his shoulder. He took a deep breath to relax himself. "Harry? I don't want to stay behind anymore. I think given what's happened there's no reason why I shouldn't be permitted to accompany you in the future."

Harry frowned. "I don't want you out there with me. It's not safe–"

"Harry, listen to me. I'm not a child, nor some helpless little damsel that you can lock away in your tower." He turned back around to meet his lover's eyes, determined that the taller man should hear him out. "I have experience with the Dark Arts. I may not be able to kill, but I'm resourceful. I think that anything I would experience out there could not possibly be anymore damaging than what happened here. I'm a target regardless of where I am Harry, but I know I feel safe, and I am safe, but only when I'm with you. Please don't deny me this?" He pleaded with his eyes to make his love understand. He needed Harry to understand.

Harry looked pained. There was no point in denying Draco's claims. His lover had a valid argument, but that still didn't make him comfortable with putting Draco in a direct line of danger. "I'll consider it?" He choked. He couldn't give a definite answer now. Not right away. He wanted to hold on to his fantasy a little longer.

Draco regarded his lover's expression carefully and nodded. "Consider it well then, Harry. I know this is your war. I just want to be there with you, all the way to the end." He leaned up and kissed Harry gently. "I love you."

Harry smiled, his gaze focused not on Draco, but the sunlight that created a halo effect behind him. "I love you to." They still had a long way to go. The trails and horrors of the war being waged around them were not easy to ignore, even if they'd wanted to. Harry knew he'd eventually have to give in to Draco's request, but he would fight to protect his lover until he drew his last breath. That was the promise he made to himself in that moment. Now all he could do was hope that it would be enough.

xxxx

End

_The sexual nature of the original story has made it impossible for me to post it here. I have listed this version because I know there are some reader's who might appreciate the story but have no interest in the explicit material. I've done my best to edit this story into a version that suits the parameters of guidelines without turning it into a hack job. This edited version is still very adult oriented, and is rated as such. If you're interested in browsing the explicit version, I have it listed at under my account as "Ida." Thank you for reading._

_-Ida_


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